How To Mess Up Your Children: Chapter 1

Ariana: Mommy was I a mistake?

Me: No, you weren't.

Ariana: So all the bad things that happened to me were supposed to happen?

Me: What kind of bad things do you think happened to you?

Ariana: Getting stung by a wasp.

Jonathan: That kind of thing happens to everyone.

Noah: Well I've never been stung...

Me: That's because you were a mistake.

Questionable Days Off

Yesterday the school nurse called me and said Noah was in her office. He didn't have a fever, but was complaining of a stomachache and had a cough. She said he was practically in tears, and she hadn't seen him like that before; he really wanted to go home.

So I left work and picked him up. He laid on the couch watching dvd's and perked up. By bedtime he was back to walking around armed with a bucket (just in case) and too tired to move.

This morning he didn't think he was "up for" going to school. Fine. One more day.

Of course once Ariana was out the door he was bouncing around and making me doubt his illness. So I decided to drag him into work with me for a few hours, and we came home in time to get his sister from school.

Another mom waiting at the school asked if we were going to stay and play, but I told her how Noah had been playing hookey so staying wasn't an option, since he was "sick".

When Jonathan came home from work Noah practically flew at him over the couch.

Noah: "Hi! You're home!" *bounce*bounce*
Jon: "Oh, you're real sick."
Noah: "I'm a hooker! .... wait, that wasn't what you said earlier, was it?"
Me: "Hookey."

Riding in Cars

Tonight I took Zoe and Ariana shopping with me. Their conversations are like little people. This is an excerpt from the ride out:

Ariana: Woa, look at that car! I love it!
Zoe: Well, I love punch buggies.
Ariana: I know, I know. You are going to get one, and have a dog, and it's going to sit in the front seat.
Zoe: Yeah, but if I don't get a dog, you can sit in the front. Well, you and Noah will have to alternate.

So I pipe in - "She can sit in front on the days that end in Y!"
Zoe: Yeah, okay.
Ariana: That's pretty much every day!
Zoe: Oh...yeah...haha!

Me again - "How about the odd days then?"
Ariana: Yeah, like Friday!
Me: Umm...
Ariana: Friday is my favorite day. Oh I've got a joke. What day is a potato's least favorite day?

*Crickets*

Ariana: Friday! Get it, FRY-day!

And then I stopped following along because they make me dizzy.

Our Littlest Clan Member

It was April of 2012 when I found out I was pregnant for the 3^rd time. Although my two children are a bit older (7 and 9), there was no reason to think this time was any different. It was a very uneventful pregnancy until our ultrasound around 19 weeks. That was when our world turned upside down.

The technician was very quiet and didn’t point out much on the screen. She did let us know that the baby was head down and that she wouldn’t be able to tell us the sex because it’s legs were crossed (which was okay with us, because we wanted to be surprised!) She said because of the position she couldn’t get all the measurements she needed, and we’d probably need to come back another time. We didn’t even get to bring home a single printout with us or anything. I consoled myself that it was due to the position…

The next morning my doctor was calling bright and early for me to come in and discuss the ultrasound. On a day the office was closed. I’m no expert, but even I knew that could not mean good news.  The scan showed multiple problems. There was fluid in the brain, an enlarged heart with only 3 chambers, an omphalocele (the abdominal organs growing in a sac outside the body), clenched hands, spina bifida, growth was 3 weeks behind; the list went on and on. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. How could we have made such a mess? That was when we learned about Trisomy 18 - an extra 18^th chromosome. These were all markers of such a condition. Testing confirmed it.

We were rushed along because we only had until 22 weeks to decide if we were terminating, but there was no need to hurry us because our minds were already made up. It felt like we were expected to end the pregnancy, and although no one would say it, it seemed like the doctors leaned toward that option. We said no. A Trisomy 18 baby has a 50% chance of being born alive, full term. With all of the defects we knew our baby didn’t even have that. Our baby’s life was already going to be brief, and we weren’t going to cut it any shorter.

It was a rough summer. I tried to sleep it away. I’m not sure if it made things easier knowing ahead of time or not, except that we didn’t have false hopes. There was no nursery to decorate, no baby registry to play around with, no plans aside from “get through the day”.

Then, at 26 weeks I stopped feeling movement.  The problem with carrying a baby “incompatible with life” is that you aren’t a priority. I called on a Tuesday morning, and they saw me on Wednesday.

The only heartbeat found on the Doppler was my own, and an ultrasound confirmed our baby was gone. That Friday, I was induced and gave birth to a sleeping son on September 15, 2012. He weighed 12.1oz and was 8-1/2” long and we named him Parker. So tiny, but so perfect despite it all.

No matter how much I miss him and how much I hurt, I don’t regret my decision. Given a chance to go back, I wouldn’t have done anything differently.  It was 26 weeks I will never forget. 

Dangerous Ducts

Within one week of having it, Noah lost and destroyed his retainer, so I had to pay for a second one to be made. He has been working it off around the house to pay me back. 

So the other night, for his chore, I assigned Noah to take out all the grates for the heating ducts and vacuum the dust/cat hair/etc. He enlisted Ariana's help. 

I've overheard her offer such services as, "I'll hold the flashlight and be your spotter." and "I'll hold your feet while you reach down for that Lego." 

But my favorite is when the furnace suddenly came on and she cried out, "Ah! Fire in the hole!"

3 Things

The following list is seen on the dry erase board:
1. Mall cop
2. Dad 
3. Santa

We asked Noah what the heck it was a list of. Evidently it is all the things he is going to be when he grows up. Aim high buddy.

Politically Clueless

Noah: Who do you think is going to win?
Me: Win what?
Noah: The election.
Me: I don't really pay any attention to that stuff.
Noah: Well I think Mitt Romney's going a bit too far.

Ummmm...okay.