A Couple Gems

Ariana: "I really wish I could be a dog."
Me: "But that means you'd have to lick your own butt, right?"
Ariana: "Yeah, but if I was a dog I'd be ok with it."


Ariana was poking, prodding, picking at, kicking Jon sort of absent-mindedly while sitting next to him on the couch.
Jon: "Why are you so mean to me?"
Ariana: "Because I love you. Love hurts, ya know."

Cole Slaw, Onion Rings, and Baby Chicken

Yesterday Jon took us out to Weathervane. On the way there, Noah and Ariana were deciding what they were going to order. Noah said, "My usual." Which doesn't mean his usual for Weathervane, it means his usual for any restaurant there is: chicken nuggets/tenders and french fries. 

Ariana said she'd have her usual too... but that could be anything. Sometimes it is the same as Noah, sometimes she will have the overpriced boxed macaroni and cheese, or sometimes change it up a little. In this case, she meant "anything that comes with cole slaw" because as she put it, "I'm cuckoo for cole slaw!"

The waitress takes our drink orders and Jon throws on an order of Appetizer Combo. That's a whole lotta appetizer. It comes and Noah dives into the onion rings, loading up his plate. He took a bite of one and the onion all slid out of the breading like it sometimes does. 

Noah: "What's this?"

Me: "That would be the onion. You know, they are onion rings."

Noah: "I didn't know they had onions in them! I thought it was just a cool name!!"

Luckily he still ate them anyway, despite the surprise ingredient. 

Meals came, and there was way too much food. I had only ordered chowder, which was more than enough after participating in the appetizer combo. We brought home at least half of what we ordered, because somebody's eyes were bigger than their size...

Jon leaned back and pooched his belly out like a 7-month pregnant woman, aka food baby. I asked him if that was the baby kickin'. Ariana immediately slides under the table to get on the seat next to him and puts her hand on his belly. "I want to feel the baby chicken!!"

They're So Cute...

Last night we dragged the kids out to McDonald's and shopping. Actually I was dragged too, but anyway, that's what we did last night.

As we're riding out, the kids are in the back having a heated discussion that I ignore until I hear Noah burst out with, "It's in the Bible! Haven't you read the Bible? On page 398, it says boys go before girls for activities!"
And then he expected me to back him up. I told him I was unfamiliar with that passage, and all I knew was "Ladies first."

Then while at McDonald's, Ariana inevitably has to go to the bathroom. Because we are in public and that's what kids do. So I escort her and she goes in and does her thing. Then I hear, "There's no toilet paper in here!"
So I tell her hang on, I'll grab her some.
"Nevermind, I wiggled it off!"
*Side note, I hate doing her laundry.

Then there is always the Dollar store struggle. Trying to get everything and get through the line before the kids know, so you don't end up suckered into buying them something they can't live without. This was no exception. We were at the door with our bags calling, "Come on guys! You ready?"
And Zoe answers, "Oh yeah. I was born ready. Well, actually no. It took my mom 2 days."

So that was my Thursday night.

Monkey

Hey Mumma, these should be good for climbing trees, right? Because they have suction cups? 

Sunday hike

Today we went hiking. It was Noah and Ariana's first time. The best part of it for them? Sooo many photo ops!

Just floating in a tree

And away they go! 

Look what I got him to do! hahaha

Hey guys, just act natural.

He ran ahead and when we caught up, this is what Noah was doing. He kills me! 

No kids here, just a normal fountain...

Uh Mummy, we have a little problem...

One more unnecessary pose.

We made it!

It is much cooler to wear your t-shirt as a turban than as a t-shirt.

Ooooh That Smell

One morning in March, during the “warm spell”, Noah says to me, “Mummy, I’m going to need you to buy me some deodorant.”

This was one of those moments that I was desperately jealous of people who can raise one eyebrow, because that is what I would have done.

Me: “Why do you think you need deodorant?”

Noah: “Well, I’m getting to that age...”

Me: “Okay… what makes you think that? Do you stink?”

Noah: “My teacher said we should all ask our parents if they can buy us some.”

I’m guessing the classroom must have been especially pungent after recess if this was his teacher’s idea. I felt bad for her, so I bought him some.

This morning after he took a shower I asked if he had used any, and he confirmed.

Me: “Alright, then breakfast. Are you going to have pound cake or what, it’s on the counter.”

Noah: “Oh, I didn’t know if it was okay to get it myself.”

Ariana: “Well if you are old enough to wear DERODIANT then you are old enough to get your own breakfast!”  

And this is how moms are born. 

Dental Care

"Are my teeth clean yet or do I need to do another lap?"

Doppelgangers Among Us

Zoe: "Oh sure, he didn't do it. Who was it then, his doppelganger?"
Ariana: "Hey! We saw doublegangers at the park!"
Zoe: "Actually, those were twins."

Prologue

My sister once suggested that maybe a camera crew should be following us around our house. Not because we'd make a raunchy reality show, but because we live in my old New England house like a "bunch of Mexicans." We are packed in like sardines; there are my two kids, Noah (9) and Ariana (7), my sister and her son Cayden (5), my boyfriend, and his daughter Zoe (9). 

This kind of dysfunctional Brady Bunch would not be complete without a variety of pets. Guinness, Roxy, and Pikachu are guinea pigs that live upstairs in the boys' room with them. There is Kassy, a disgruntled Himalayan/Siamese cat, Teddy the lovable tiger, and Angel (aka "Skunky"). And of course Lucy, my Peek-a-Pug who is almost definitely her own grandma. She looks like a pure bred pug, except she is smaller and has a constant dopey look on her face that can be attributed to the fact that her tongue does not fit in her mouth.

So all 7 of us live with all 8 of these animals in an essentially 3-bedroom, 1 bathroom home. Needless to say, we've turned a few rooms into bedrooms that have no right to sleep anyone, and would more appropriately be used as a walk in closet or office. 

Hilarity ensues. 

There was an old lady...

It's amazing how a broken stroller and a scarf can age a person.