Junk Machines

Everywhere we go, they have those stupid machines, and I immediately hear, "Mummy, do you have a quarter?"
Went down to the hardware store after work to fetch my other half, and sure enough, Ariana who had tagged along: "Mummy, do you have a quarter?"
GRRR!
Me: "You guys need to get jobs, if you are going to want quarters all the time."
Ariana: "Well I TRIED! I was out in front of the house jump-roping and put a little cup out! But nobody gave me any money so I gave up."
*Face palm*

Two Tutus

Last night Ariana came into my room wearing a white wife-beater type tank top and a sea of taffeta around her middle.
Me: "What are you wearing?!"
Ariana: "Two tutus."
Me: "I thought you didn't like princesses?"
Ariana: "No, I'm Van-Vantura."
Me: "Who??"
Ariana: "It's a movie. The man is wearing a white shirt and tutus and he walks over to a chair and sleeps with his face in it."
Me: ".....? .... ACE VENTURA?!"
Ariana (proudly): "Yeah!"

Seriously, whose child is this? And why is she so weird??

Noah's #1

Noah: "SERIOUSLY?! I have to be 1 again? I'm always 1!! Why don't I ever get a bigger number?"

Me: "Well, the shirts are in size order by number. The low numbers are the smallest shirts. And since every year, no matter what grade you are in or what sport you are playing, somehow you are the smallest kid on the team."

Noah: "Oh. Well. Do I have sideburns? Ben says I have sideburns."

Me: "Yes, you do." 

A Couple Gems

Ariana: "I really wish I could be a dog."
Me: "But that means you'd have to lick your own butt, right?"
Ariana: "Yeah, but if I was a dog I'd be ok with it."


Ariana was poking, prodding, picking at, kicking Jon sort of absent-mindedly while sitting next to him on the couch.
Jon: "Why are you so mean to me?"
Ariana: "Because I love you. Love hurts, ya know."

Cole Slaw, Onion Rings, and Baby Chicken

Yesterday Jon took us out to Weathervane. On the way there, Noah and Ariana were deciding what they were going to order. Noah said, "My usual." Which doesn't mean his usual for Weathervane, it means his usual for any restaurant there is: chicken nuggets/tenders and french fries. 

Ariana said she'd have her usual too... but that could be anything. Sometimes it is the same as Noah, sometimes she will have the overpriced boxed macaroni and cheese, or sometimes change it up a little. In this case, she meant "anything that comes with cole slaw" because as she put it, "I'm cuckoo for cole slaw!"

The waitress takes our drink orders and Jon throws on an order of Appetizer Combo. That's a whole lotta appetizer. It comes and Noah dives into the onion rings, loading up his plate. He took a bite of one and the onion all slid out of the breading like it sometimes does. 

Noah: "What's this?"

Me: "That would be the onion. You know, they are onion rings."

Noah: "I didn't know they had onions in them! I thought it was just a cool name!!"

Luckily he still ate them anyway, despite the surprise ingredient. 

Meals came, and there was way too much food. I had only ordered chowder, which was more than enough after participating in the appetizer combo. We brought home at least half of what we ordered, because somebody's eyes were bigger than their size...

Jon leaned back and pooched his belly out like a 7-month pregnant woman, aka food baby. I asked him if that was the baby kickin'. Ariana immediately slides under the table to get on the seat next to him and puts her hand on his belly. "I want to feel the baby chicken!!"

They're So Cute...

Last night we dragged the kids out to McDonald's and shopping. Actually I was dragged too, but anyway, that's what we did last night.

As we're riding out, the kids are in the back having a heated discussion that I ignore until I hear Noah burst out with, "It's in the Bible! Haven't you read the Bible? On page 398, it says boys go before girls for activities!"
And then he expected me to back him up. I told him I was unfamiliar with that passage, and all I knew was "Ladies first."

Then while at McDonald's, Ariana inevitably has to go to the bathroom. Because we are in public and that's what kids do. So I escort her and she goes in and does her thing. Then I hear, "There's no toilet paper in here!"
So I tell her hang on, I'll grab her some.
"Nevermind, I wiggled it off!"
*Side note, I hate doing her laundry.

Then there is always the Dollar store struggle. Trying to get everything and get through the line before the kids know, so you don't end up suckered into buying them something they can't live without. This was no exception. We were at the door with our bags calling, "Come on guys! You ready?"
And Zoe answers, "Oh yeah. I was born ready. Well, actually no. It took my mom 2 days."

So that was my Thursday night.

Monkey

Hey Mumma, these should be good for climbing trees, right? Because they have suction cups?